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Balthasar's Archives
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The Rules

These are the Rules.  Know them, live them, love them.  Or else.

1.  Anything that makes you go "Ewwww" is wrong.
2.  No maiming.
3.  No torture.
4.  No leaving body parts of your enemies lying around the house.  (The Bloody Joe Rule)
5.  Don't do anything you know is stupid.
6.  Get to bed by a reasonable hour.
7.  Don't ask for it.  (Loggins' Rule)
22.  No double dipping.

These Rules were written years ago by the Town Guard.
Bloody Joe - One of the Nameless Ones had been defeated by the townsfolk.  For reasons that are no longer well-known, Samual decided to keep the Nameless One's head as a trophy, and left it under his bed.  Much later that night, when all of the Town Guard was asleep in their beds, the rest of Nameless One regenerated and emerged from under the bed.  He was naked to the waist and covered in blood.  He proceeded to roll the Town Guard.  That's why we don't leave body parts of our enemies lying around the house, Stratford's Closet of Evil notwithstanding.
Loggins' Rule - Back in Septembris of 401, the Town Guard was sitting around the barracks when they heard a commotion from the Wagon Wheel.  They decided that the voices were laughter rather than screaming.  Loggins said, "Wouldn't it be awful if they were all dying over there?"  Moments later, someone came running from the Wagon Wheel explaining that a horde of shades had slaughtered everyone over there.